haven't really talked to my dad since the day of irritation. this is, in many ways, an improvement - it's somewhere between the silent treatment and the amount of interest I was looking for/gauging anyway, so not really bad there. in fact, the problem of boredom really isn't - I'm not bored, just frustrated without any friends. like I've tried to explain, I'm reading a lot, writing better than I have before, but the problem is that I have no choice but to be passive versus active. I can't really experience anything new to write about ... but the happy there is that I have enough stored (and yet to be understood) that I'm good for now. just, you know, frustrated.

I'll have money in early july, because I *do* have a job. let's just say it's adult entertainment, video-related, and really not something I'd like to go into any depth with with friends other than to say "I work in porn." no, I don't have some big alter ego or double life. I'm just ... you know, doing it as a summer job. or something. plus, it's prescott, so it's mostly (all) alone. um, yeah, that's all.

speaking of such things, my family is leaving to go to mexico for my brother's birthday in late july (something like the 23 or 24th through the 28th or 29th), so take this as an open invitation to carpool up or down during that time and come keep me company in my large and empty house. check with me on dates, though. but, seriously, come. play. drink. save me from myself.

I don't really have much to complain about this time. I'm relatively happy, if also relatively stagnatory. oooh, I remember something good! I get to take jane woodman's graduate fiction class next term! that's exciting, that is.

mmm, okay, one last tangent. I love melyssa and would (maybe literally?) die without her here. I like stephen, too, and if it wasn't for going to his house, I'd probably go spare, since I can't really go to melyssa's, either. the problem is, they had to get into another relationship-thing where sex is happening and I am, quite plainly, an awkward third wheel since melyssa and I are best friends now and stephen has told me he wanted to fool around with me, too. and they're having sex. did I mention that? melyssa feels just as awkward about it as I do, I think (and she tells me), but at the same time, I'm not the one boning the guy, right?

and so it goes.