I have:

1) a bottle of melyssa's unopened vodka in my closet.

2) a bit less than a half a tank of gas in my car.

3) no dad or middle brother through next tuesday.

4) about thirty dollars in my bank account, total.

5) a Real Porn Name.

6) a healthy contempt for my parents.

7) a new group of songs on my iTunes, including radiohead's "creep," which is pretty awesome. also worth noting is that the version used in rock band is edited so they say "very special" instead of "fucking special" at various points in the song. hypocrites.

8) an invitation to go camping with the man I still like. I cannot, thanks to items (2) and (4).

9) a dance party mix, compiled by me and melyssa, ready to be played when my parents go to mexico for all my awesome peeps who are coming to stay & dance (right?)

10) a grandmother I love dearly but who has also decided that she's going to come stay while my parents are in mexico and must be dissuaded.

11) zero apartments for next term. help?

12) four half-hour scripts for my new series. ah, high school. (think an american "degrassi." it's pretty awesome.)

13) returned friends from abroad.

14) a canker sore.

15) several overdue library books, including two by david sedaris, a short work by dennis cooper, and a book of richard siken's poetry.

16) two drumsticks currently propping up my head as I lay on my bed and write this. don't try and picture it.

17) three pairs of broken sunglasses, and none that work.

18) gotten over seeing myself naked and engaging in various acts, thanks to editing my own porn.

19) always wanted to fly.

20) now finished this list.